seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
