Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
nutella sex= disaster
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
