Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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