whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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