so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
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