I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
