Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
