I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize