im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize