You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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