just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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