He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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