dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
