very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
