apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We are two peas in an std pod
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
