i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
