we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I did not marry a roomba.
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