so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
