he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
