My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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