a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
