Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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