Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
