I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
