i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
