He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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