Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
