turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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