theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
