u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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