East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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