i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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