The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
