Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize