I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
