He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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