My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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