Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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