Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize