I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
