I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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