my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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