"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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