she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
