My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
