hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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