he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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