you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I love having hate sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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