sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize