I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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