If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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