Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
not ubering you a puppy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
