WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
