At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
