Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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