so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize