i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
