this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
