very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
