i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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