i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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