im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
In America we eat man semen.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize