Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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