elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
