I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
