We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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